Discern in the Light! with Carole Frey
Carole Frey experienced the light of Christ as a child.
Therefore, when Carole has gone through darker seasons in her adult life, she has known where to turn: Jesus.
When overwhelmed with anxiety, Carole sensed God drawing her to church. She spoke with her parish priest. In his pastoral care and wise counsel, he encouraged Carole to share her God-given gifts with their community.
Carole started playing piano and leading her church choir. Despite unexpected twists and turns in her journey, she has continued to serve both adults and children through her music ministry.
Moreover, Carole notices when someone feels isolated, just like she once did.
"I experience a surge of empathy to ensure they become part of the communal fold."
Listen to this Advent “mini retreat in a podcast,” deepen your awareness of Jesus drawing you to Himself, and discern how to share your God-given gifts in new and glorious ways!
Transcript:
Lindy Wynne (00:00)
Welcome to Mamas in Spirit, a podcast pointing you towards God in everything you are and everything you do. I'm Lindy Wynne and it's a blessing to be with you. Hello everyone and welcome to this Advent mini retreat in a podcast, time of waiting, this time that draws us into the stillness and the quiet to ponder. And I have to tell you, our guest today actually touches upon that for me.
There is nothing like being with someone who feels cozy and comfortable and like I can enter into the quieter parts of myself, the recesses of myself, the parts maybe that I don't always show or share as often and then it feels sacred, holy and safe. And I am here with Carole Frye, who is that to me? Carole, thank you so much for being here.
Carole Frey (00:52)
Thank you for inviting me, appreciate it.
Lindy Wynne (00:54)
Well, Carole and I were just chatting as girlfriends and sisters in Christ. And at the heart of Mamas in Spirit, and really where it started, was like a woman's retreat at a parish where someone would come and give a witness talk that would not normally do things like this. Like it's a spiritual exercise to prepare and to ponder and to sit with and really look back over the different seasons of one's life, the ones that are more like the sorrowful mysteries.
And then the ones that are more like the glorious mysteries and the ones that are tied into this season of Advent and all the stories in Advent. And so in the spirit of the visitation, it is a blessing to be with you, a sister in Christ. Mary and Elizabeth came together in great joy and we all come together here in the great hope and the great joy of the Lord. So.
Before Carole shares her living witness, her story, her testimony, her witness talk, the scripture that was on my heart and that God revealed to me as I was walking through my kitchen, I saw that my father-in-law's the word among us, and I grabbed it. And at the bottom of the cover for this month is,
my soul magnifies the Lord. And so I pulled up the Magnificat and I pulled up Luke one verses 46 through 47, very brief. And I love pondering very short scripture passages that speak profoundly to the soul because that is how generous God is. And so,
In that spirit and the Holy Spirit, want us to open in prayer with this in the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, amen. My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God, my savior.
Dearest Lord, we want to thank you and praise you for Our Blessed Mother's words. My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God, my savior. Lord, I pray that as we come together for this gathering, whatever season someone's listening in to it, whatever year, whatever moment, these are all timeless because you're timeless, Lord. You are greater than time itself.
You are the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. You understand time in a way that we do not. So whenever we're listening to this, may we be present in this very, very moment. And may our souls magnify you. May our spirits rejoice in you,
that you are our Savior. We are saved by grace. Amen. In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen. Carole, thank you so much for being here.
Carole Frey (03:35)
I am very pleased and honored that you even asked. Thank you.
Lindy Wynne (03:38)
If you cannot already tell, I will reveal that Carole has many, many gifts and one of them is the gift of humility. in the spirit of pondering and sisterhood and love of God, I'd love for you to start at the beginning of your story.
Carole Frey (03:54)
Thank you, thank you so much. That was a beautiful reflection. I would say about 20 some years ago, I went through a conversion. I didn't even know that was what was happening, but it did in fact happen. I could say that I was raised in a beautiful family, everything. When I think about my childhood, was a blessing in every way. And my parents did all the right things. They planted that seed of faith by making sure that I...
got all my sacraments and all, but I wasn't really part of, we weren't really in the community as such. was a Christmas and Easter type experience. It was there, it was present, but it wasn't like lived as I see now today. And it was raised and went into business and the business side of things back then when women were going into the business world.
You had to kind of toughen up a little bit. weren't a lot, you you had to kind of work in the man's world type thing. And it was an adjustment and, and, ⁓ you know, worked my way through the corporate ladder. And then there came a point where, you know, what did I want to have a family? I had been working 12 years, married, very young and decided, yes, I did want to have a family. so, and I, I'm blessed with two beautiful boys, now they're in young men, but.
Lindy Wynne (04:46)
And then there came a point where...
Carole Frey (05:08)
at the time, but it was really a very difficult transition because here you're working in this environment where you had to be tough and strong and then you're going into this and talking to different business people, managers, and then you're going into this whole new world where you have little babies in your hands. I never even held a baby, let alone raised a baby at that time. So that whole adjustment period was really hard. And it was stressful because it was sort of a whole re-identification of what
who I was and what I was. And I think anxieties grew when I was through that raising the children, especially as they were really little, because it was so monumental that I was making decisions that affected their lives and could be in a big way depending on what happened. Well, it turns out that there was a point that I got hit with a major
issue. I don't want to get into it. That would be a whole nother podcast. But that created such anxiety for me that I was, I couldn't even really manage, you know, I trying to get help from different people. And, and I wasn't getting, I had to make some big decisions for the family. And I just didn't, I just worried, stressful and anxious. So there came a point where I had nowhere else to turn. I went, I went up to my parish. didn't even know my priest personally or anything. But
I, that seed of faith that was planted way back when, when I was a child, started to grow in a big way because I needed to find answers and I had nowhere to turn except to look to God. And I met with the pastor and he was very understanding and he thought that it was really important that I get involved in the community, that I give back, talk to me about what kind of gifts I might have to offer. And I was a musician, even though I was
Lindy Wynne (06:37)
that with the pastor and he was very understanding and he thought that it was really important that I get involved in the community, that I give back. Talk to me about what kind of gifts I would have to offer.
Carole Frey (06:52)
professional accountant, I was a musician. said, I played music, play the piano. So he sent me off to the music ministry and it wasn't all that welcoming, not to be negative, but it was, everybody had their turf, everybody had their place and trying to break in was not easy. You also kind of think of church in a much more...
benevolent way than you would in corporate environment, but people are people regardless of where you are. And that I had a lesson I had to learn there. So it would have been very easy to just walk away because they didn't really help me get acclimated into the music ministry. But there was something nudging me at that time. I look back now and say, OK, that was the Holy Spirit. I didn't have a relationship with the Holy Spirit, but there was something pushing me to continue on that journey.
And then one day I got a call from a nun that knew me from when my children would be raised in Catholic schools. And ⁓ she said, we have a problem at our parish. The choir is dividing the parishioners and we can't pull ourselves together. And she felt that knowing me, I would have been able to manage that and make it a really cohesive environment. So I went over there.
It was hard because I didn't want to leave my own parish, but they were offering me the chance to be the choir director of their church. It was a mission church, so it was small. And that's where I started my real love of liturgy. I would, you know, look at the music and try to see what kind of music would touch the hearts of the people that were in this parish and this big divide. So it wasn't easy. Some of the people had to leave because they didn't
I didn't force them, they just didn't want to change. we needed to, I said to them, our most important job is to make the parishioners and yourselves feel like you're part of the liturgy. That it's not about just singing a song. It's about making that song live in your heart as far as the message of the liturgy. So that was a...
big development for me and eventually my other parish wanted me to come back and they wanted me to be more involved. And there was at one point I must have been working in the music ministry in four parishes at the same time. I mean, I went all in. was this was the conversion as far as me being able to give back. the best part of it all was that...
you know, sitting up at the piano and looking at the people in the pews who are suffering or who are happy, whatever, to see that you can make a change or a difference in their lives. Now, my children ended up going to the school where I was at that parish. And so I ended up teaching at the Catholic school, ended up involved in all of their music activities. But it was also a place where I found the love of working with children and that there's a connection, I think, that I have with kids that
Helps them find their faith. So I went through the whole gambit. I was you know, The altar Rosaries Society I taught CCD I was took the liturgies It was it was a big conversion. I'm influenced my husband who wasn't Catholic to he can went through a conversion himself through to the Catholic faith and
And I can't say that it was a linear path. It's not where you can just start and just go straight up. There's bumps in the road, challenges, points where you want to pull back and say, what am I doing? Why am I doing this? But in the long run, it keeps growing and you keep learning. And I continue doing it even to this day. that's, you know, so for over 20 years, probably.
Lindy Wynne (09:56)
say that it was a linear path, not the way you can just start, just go straight up. There are bumps and road, challenges, points where you kind of pull back and say, like I do, I want to do this.
Yes, praise God. Thank you for sharing all of that, Carole. And I'm very moved how you touched on the human dynamics. And you said people are people, whether they're in the business world or church or anywhere else. And kind of cheesy, but the quote that came to me was in that Jerry Maguire movie when I think he says to her, you complete me. And we believe.
in our faith that God completes us, that we are complete within the Lord. And so often we may look for that completeness in our church or have that kind of like false expectation that sets us up for such disappointment and discouragement of the heart when we don't find it. And I'm so moved that when you had that first difficult experience and you were very vulnerable, like you were suffering and struggling and looking and searching.
and you had a hard experience at the church, but you stayed in your faith and you went to another church and then your heart was still open enough to return to that church, that first church, and do music ministry and have a healing experience with everybody there. And I hear so much about this in all of the ministry that I've really ever done of that disappointment and that discouragement.
when a person myself, I've had this experience, when I go to a church or a priest or a person or a minister and then I feel like I don't fit in or rejected or unseen or the exact things that I'm looking to escape in the rest of the world. But yet you stayed. You stayed. You stayed on the path. And like you said, it was bumpy. And there are twists and turns to it.
Carole Frey (11:52)
Yes.
Lindy Wynne (11:59)
and difficult moments on the path. I'd love for you to share with us, Carole, because I have had the gift of seeing how contemplative your heart is and how pondering and how thoughtful you are.
Can you share with us a moment or moments in that where you felt that draw by God, you called it a push to continue, and even that initial draw to the church when you were struggling because that seed had been planted as a child, in the most intimate moments for you with the Lord, what did that look like to help you to discern to move forward?
Carole Frey (12:37)
That's a very good question. It wasn't like something that just announced itself. It was like little isolated instances that came up that touched my heart. And then it was confirmation that I was doing a good thing and sharing my ministry with other people. As having never done that my whole life, I just didn't know what to expect in terms of return.
I have this one story where I took on a CCD class to teach. It was the eighth grade confirmation class. And there was a student that sat in the back. It was notorious class. They gave the teacher a really hard time. And she left in their last year and I went filled in. And I really wanted them to feel the Holy Spirit because the sacrament of confirmation is something that I just love and is near and dear to my heart. And I sense the spirit when I...
Lindy Wynne (13:20)
second confirmation is something that I just love and is dear to my heart. And I sense the spirit when I
Carole Frey (13:27)
find the music and do that. So there's this young man that was sitting in the back. He just looked as disinterested as possible. And I just felt so bad that I wasn't reaching him and I wanted to reach him. So
Lindy Wynne (13:27)
find the music and do that. So there's this young man that's in the back, just like disinterested as possible. And I just felt so bad that I wasn't reaching him and I wanted to reach him, but...
Carole Frey (13:40)
it was me, I presented things. went outside of the, I did the CCD information, but then tried to make it live for them in examples so that they could live it as opposed to just read about it. And at the end of the confirmation,
Lindy Wynne (13:40)
So I just, with me, I I presented things. went outside of the, I did the CCD information, but then tried to make it live for them in examples so that they could live it as opposed to just read about it at the end of the confirmation.
Carole Frey (13:55)
this young man sent me a note and said how moved he was by the class and how he found his faith. And here I thought he just didn't like me at all. I wasn't connecting at all. And yet there was that moment. And I think that's really, it was an important lesson for me to know that you don't know when you're actually having an effect or touching people in that way. we should just keep pushing forward and knowing that there are some
There are some things that we just can't explain, but it's there. That's one example. My other one is just looking in the eyes of the people that are sitting in the pews when they're worshiping and when they're praying. And if a note touches them in a special way or the music touches them in a special way, how it helps them on their journey. And that always was encouraging for me to continue to move forward and share that ministry.
Lindy Wynne (14:46)
That is so moving, Carole, both to think about that young man and then also how you look into the eyes of the people in the pews, because I feel relatively certain that so often, either in our own self-consciousness, which you kind of touched upon, which we all have, or in our busyness, or in our just our thought that's not of the Lord.
And thoughts often that come from ourselves, that can create distance from us with one another or other people in the pews or things like you talked about before when you first started at that first parish that people had their turf.
Like it's so self-centric rather than other-centric and we all do this at times. Like this is part of the spiritual journey and hopefully that molding and shaping by the Lord. And yet what I'm hearing from you is like, I think of like a gentle touch. Like I think if you're playing the piano, you're a beautiful pianist. And...
I think of that gentle touch, that gentle gaze of noticing another and going outside of oneself to notice and love into the other. Because when you first shared, it also touched me when you talked about choosing music that would hopefully open people's hearts and gather them together. And then also the way that
you have experienced music opening your own heart.
Carole Frey (16:17)
Yes, the music is the connection to the soul for me and I'm sure, and as for others as well. It was like Christmas Day every time I would get the packages of music of the new songs that were coming out in my mail and I would just come in and I'd just go through every single one just to find that perfect song that I thought could actually help people in their faith and in their prayers. So...
And just recently I went to a healing mass and it was palpable how people were praying. You could just see in their faces and in their prayer and everything how they were being drawn to God through that music and prayer. And it's just a really special part of what I do.
Lindy Wynne (16:56)
It is a very special part of what you do and I was recently contemplating this about music like when we think about how much music is played in the world and how it touches the soul and opens us up in ways that sometimes other things do not like it's in such a sacred and unique way and that began your own conversion and now that's a gift that you share
and your own conversion led, it had a ripple effect even on the most intimate relationship in your life, the life with your husband. Can you talk more about that?
Carole Frey (17:30)
Yes.
Well, music was always, even when I was working in the corporate world, I was teaching at night students and just never would never have guessed that the bad things that were happening would then end up being music being what kind of pulled me out of that and that it was such a positive thing. My husband was very supportive of everything.
I did, and especially on the music, even from the first time we went out on a date, he would sit in the chair and just close his eyes and I would play the piano at night. was just, it was just always part of our life. And he was always encouraging. He wasn't a musician himself, but he was our roadie. Both of my boys are now professional musicians. It wasn't something I encouraged, but it was just, was the other thing I learned through my faith was to find your gifts and
Use your have your vocation be the gifts that you have special gifts. And so I never discouraged him. There's so many parents who would say, oh, you don't want to go into music. But I encouraged that not encouraging them to do it, but I encourage them to find what they make them happy. And that then I think that some music from that, you know, from the church experience influenced them in a great way. I would drag them up to mass and.
Lindy Wynne (18:36)
So music from that church experience influenced them in a great way. I would drag them up to Mass.
Carole Frey (18:44)
I remember it was very early on, was around 9-11 actually, and my oldest son who was like 10 or 11 or 12, was learning the violin and he played at that mass that they
Lindy Wynne (18:44)
I remember was very early on. was around 9-11 actually. My oldest son was like 10 or 11 or 12. was learning the violin and he played it at Mass.
Carole Frey (18:55)
had when the World Trade Center thing happened. And from then on, we kind of played all the way through like weddings and everything together. And it became a family thing. And then when I went to the school and directed the school plays up there,
My husband was there every step of the way, making sure that I had the support I needed to make, have the ability to give my gifts to other people. So his gift was to support me to give my gift to others. that, so that's how our family worked through all those years of the boys growing up. And still does, I still work with the boys.
Lindy Wynne (19:31)
Yes, praise God. It's so beautiful to see. It's
a beautiful witness. Carole, you encourage your boys to do what would bring them joy and make them happy. And also, you talked about using your own gifts in your vocation. This is all very beautiful, very meaningful. Carole, when you have personally struggled or grappled,
Like, I've been blessed to see your lovely piano in your own home. How does God minister to your own heart and your own soul through that? Because going back to the Magnificat, your soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord and that we can only give what we've received. I see this in you.
Carole Frey (19:58)
you
Lindy Wynne (20:15)
How does the Lord minister to you most deeply through music to bring you that joy?
Carole Frey (20:22)
That's a really interesting question. About six years ago, we moved to Tennessee and that year was just a very difficult year. Three of the cornerstones of my family passed away. We were in a new town and ⁓ COVID hit and it was a very alone period of time. And I really didn't feel, I didn't listen to music, I didn't play music. It just all went away. And that surprised me.
Lindy Wynne (20:28)
was just a very difficult year. Three of the cornerstones of my family passed away. We were in a new town and COVID hit and it was a very long period of time. I really didn't feel, I didn't listen to music, I didn't play music, it just all went away. And that surprised me,
Carole Frey (20:51)
But I think I was just trying to hold on.
Lindy Wynne (20:52)
but I think I was just trying to hold on.
Carole Frey (20:55)
that seed that was planted in me, that I ultimately planted in my boys, started growing again in this dark time. It seems like the dark times is when you see that growth be the greatest. And they're the ones that said, you've got to get back to church. You've got to start get back to playing your music. And I kind of fought them when the tables turned.
But I kind of fought that idea because I just didn't feel it. I've lawyer was God in this whole picture where music was so important to me and now all of a sudden I have no interest. But I forced myself and luckily I found the music industry that I'm in now and others that it's back. And I think God led me back to where I needed to be to have that in my heart so that I can then fill my heart back up.
with love and then be able to take that love and give it to the children that I work with in the music ministry now. I think that, you know, his presence was in there all along, but I had lost it for a little time. And that is back again. And that's all good.
Lindy Wynne (22:02)
Praise God and in the face of such a difficult time of such a difficult time of loss and isolation and loneliness like being new which I know completely of being new in Franklin, Tennessee in the same city that you were but we didn't know each other then and then the isolation of coved which I mean my goodness I Sometimes I feel a little concerned like we've just kind of like we should move forward in a sense not should but like I do sense like we're always
invited to move forward but move forward with the Lord and like we probably all continue to need healing from that and reconnection and re-engagement and increase of trust and communication and like all the things so it was
Carole Frey (22:42)
slow process.
know, you had to work your way out of the fear because COVID was just huge levels of fear that everybody was going through. And then to be able to put yourself back out there. And then for me to put myself out there in a where I knew nobody. That was the challenge. But it worked its way through. God is good.
Lindy Wynne (23:01)
God is good. Praise God we found each other because that's how I have felt too. I understand that Carole. And I'd like to try to by the grace of God, unpack a little bit of this for all of us here gathered.
going back to that little book that my father-in-law left behind when he was just here visiting, I was just reading while I waiting for Carole to come on, just like a few words from someone in it. And it talked about darkness. And it talked about all of us at times in our lives go through times of darkness. And I do want to normalize that because sometimes, like for example, I heard someone say something the other day about growing up in a home with alcoholism and how like nobody talked
about it. And that can make dark times feel darker when we don't talk about things and we don't open up in safe places. And that's why we have Mamas in Spirit too. Like if you scroll down to the homepage of Mamas in Spirit, there's all these categories of different things that people go through so that we all know that we're not alone. This is the human experience. And so the thing that ties us
is kind of like the gut level experience and hopefully the love and the goodness and the outpouring of the Lord. So that experience of darkness we all experience, but yet when we are so blessed and when we choose, because Carole you really chose in your free will. You talked about how like you forced yourself.
but yet your sons prodded you which that's just glorious on a whole other level that full I'm wondering how many moms here gathered have had that experience where a child feeds back to a parent encouragement love healthy thinking all the things that we need but it comes from our child it feels very humbling and very beautiful deeply moving it's deeply deeply moving I'm very touched by that and so
Carole Frey (24:31)
you
Lindy Wynne (24:54)
And so you chose, though, you said, I forced myself. Isn't that interesting? You forced yourself in the darkness to choose that glimmer of light, that glimmer of hope. And this ties into discernment, which we've been actually talking about in this Advent series of like choosing the light, choosing the light in our discernment and paying attention to where God is drawing me, where God, you use the word pushing me. Like, where is that? And that takes
some attentiveness and courage. You talked about fear, it takes courage. Just like doing this podcast takes courage. I'm taking courage. I know. And so for all of us right now in this moment of our lives, whatever experiences that we may be having, which...
Carole Frey (25:26)
You're giving me spookiest.
Lindy Wynne (25:42)
We may be in similar or different seasons, yet we're all always, in a sense, encouraged and hopefully drawn by the heart where God resides, what Jesus pursues to choose the light and to choose what is good and to choose new life, being an Advent, choosing new life. And so, Carole, that's what you did. You were in this darkness.
and there was this little glimmer of hope to return to your music. God drew you there, but your sons, and pushed you there, but your sons also pushed you there. So good, it's so good. That is so beautiful. I love that so much. And now you've continued to say more yeses, more yeses, and I see you as a vibrant, essential, beautiful part of our community.
Carole Frey (26:17)
Especially there.
Lindy Wynne (26:32)
and you even teach my little piano and that is a blessing to my heart because just like that boy that was in the back pew you go after the one in a sense Carole you see the one you see the one person in the pew the one little soul and you love into one person at a time and that is you share that light in that way that's just glorious
Carole Frey (26:54)
Thank you, that's very kind of you to say. It is one at a time, it is, it's hard. And especially the ones that don't respond right away are the ones that I kind of focus on because I want to make sure that they don't get lost in the shuffle or that they become part of the community. so yes, I do that, I do do that.
now that you've mentioned it. I never thought of it that way, but...
Lindy Wynne (27:17)
Have you always done that? Like, where does that come from? Because speaking of mamas in spirit and being a mama, there's such spiritual motherhood in that. Like, to me, that encapsulates spiritual motherhood.
Carole Frey (27:28)
Yeah, think so. I think I always, if someone either isn't being treated properly or they're not part of the bigger picture of the process, my heart goes out to them. It's like a surge of compassion or empathy or whatever to make sure that they become part of the fold. And what I've found is that these students of mine have
Lindy Wynne (27:33)
think I always, if someone, either isn't being treated properly or they're not part of the bigger picture of the process, my heart goes out to them. It's like a surge of compassion or empathy or whatever to make sure that they become part of the fold. And what I've found is that these students or mine have...
Carole Frey (27:57)
They stay with me. It's like a family. And that was what another adjustment coming to Nashville was, is that I didn't, again, not knowing anybody. I didn't have my family around. I don't mean my immediate family. I mean these kids that were part of my life, that when whatever we did things, they wanted to be part of it. And interestingly enough, a lot of these students that I feel, I call it mentoring, ⁓ spiritual mentoring, they're down here now or they're continued.
being part of my life. so all of that giving that I get, you know, towards these kids comes back to me tenfold because they're still wanting to be part of it. I still teach students in New Jersey via Zoom because they want to be part of what I, you know, what we've created, the relationship that we've created. And that is very rewarding. That's a really big, important part of my life, my heart and what
pushes me to, I don't know if the word pushes, draws, whatever the word is, to doing more of that. And now I have an extended family here, your daughter being one. I even tell you that when I first met her, she was very quiet. She was like checking me out, figuring out who is this person? And now we have this great relationship. We're talking about imagery in music, and she's a storyteller.
she comes in, I have another story to tell you, and then we try to fit it into the music so that she can express herself as part of the music. And that is a real gift for her going forward, that she can do that.
Lindy Wynne (29:24)
Well, and with that sense of spiritual motherhood and that saying that I imagine we've all heard, it takes a village. There's no greater gift than blessing my child with that spiritual motherhood. Like, it's like the many gifts, one body. I can't give my kids everything. I cannot. There's no way. And so to have other beautiful souls like yourself loving into them.
And I've said this before on either Mamas in Spirit or when I was interviewed for the podcast through our church, that music ministry that Carole, John and Gaudi are part of, Margaret Rose and others, the music ministry at our parish is the best experience of ministry I have personally
been part of where I've entered in to ministry that was already there. And it's so interesting hearing Carole about your first story. And maybe too you are given greater gifts of sensitivity and awareness and seeing the one. Because sometimes I think like that's the blessing of feeling left out or like we don't belong. Hopefully by God's grace, we become more attentive. So when I
entered music ministry at St. Phillips. And when my little did, it was so warm and simple and loving. And I've said this before, I think in podcasts, like, the way that it's formed is it's it's nobody's turf. I always say like, John and Gotti could just open his mouth and sing and it's like, I feel like the heaven heaven opens, right? But that but he doesn't always sing.
Carole Frey (31:00)
It's amazing.
Lindy Wynne (31:04)
Most of the time, it's other adults, it's the children. It's truly a communal experience, which is so glorious and I'm so moved by. And then the other thing is Carole and I have the blessing, I sing, Carole plays piano. And so I have been so blessed to sing with you when you're playing. It's such a beautiful experience for me.
Carole Frey (31:32)
I'm always very happy when I see your name on the list that we're going to be doing the next mass because we do connect really well. And that connection is what helps get the spirit out to the parishioners.
Lindy Wynne (31:46)
Well,
Carole Frey (31:47)
And I really feel like, because I went over there with a very empty heart
Lindy Wynne (31:47)
I feel like I went over there with a very empty heart.
Carole Frey (31:51)
because of all that had happened. And I feel that it is the music ministry there and working with John and you and all these other people that have filled my heart back up with love, which then gives me the opportunity to share that, which is, think, the vocation. I think that's what it's all meant to be.
Lindy Wynne (32:03)
which is, I think, the vocation, I think, that's this whole thing would
be. Yes, and that sense of connectedness and that connectedness with one another. And we even talked today about COVID and being disconnected and even just lonely seasons and dark seasons of our lives. I remember, everyone, when I was doing ministry at Loyola Marymount University with college students, university students, and this just
Carole Frey (32:17)
Thank
Lindy Wynne (32:31)
came to my heart a couple days ago. I would have at times freshmen that would kind of be locked in their rooms like.
There is a number of times that I would be asked to sit with her or a freshman would approach me and we'd have a one-on-one in my office and I'd listen to them and they would basically share darkness that they were so lonely and so isolated and I think about them in their freshman dorm surrounded by people and feeling so alone.
And that happens. That happens in people's family lives. That happens in all different places and spaces, work environments, even churches, like whatnot. Yet the light always outshines the darkness. And so I remember encouraging, which Carole touches upon, what you said when you forced yourself to make the choice. I remember making a plan.
with these students and saying, okay, tell me one person, two people that you feel drawn to, that you've met. And then we would make a plan like, okay, we're gonna meet in a week. And before then, just two times or three times, I want you to reach out and ask one of those people to do something like a coffee date or a walk or whatever it was.
By God's grace, those students did so well. Because I think that we can feel so doubtful or insecure or lost or lonely that we can feel like, how do I even get out of this or where's the whatever? But like God is in the day, God is in the moment.
I shared the little quote on my mug with Carole before we started, live every moment, love every day. Let's just stay in this day. Today is a day, this moment. This moment is a moment that we can make a tiny decision, just a tiny choice that can have a lasting impact by God's grace. And if it doesn't work in this moment, then just the next one, do it again. Choose that light.
Carole Frey (34:31)
That's good.
Very good advice. I think too, what I tried to do, lead by example is I guess the point that I'd like to make. You when the kids came in, maybe coming off of COVID, they were all very individual. And I've tried really hard to make them understand that we're all, we are a unit and our strength comes.
Lindy Wynne (34:49)
and our strength and country
Carole Frey (34:50)
by sharing our prayers and working together and singing together.
Lindy Wynne (34:50)
by sharing our prayers and working together and singing together.
Carole Frey (34:54)
I've been blessed to watch them evolve into helping each other. I picked two or three kids that were in the choir that had some leadership qualities and allowed them to work with the kids, let them.
work with the kids in terms of pulling them together and getting, and now the little ones are all jumping in, what can I do, can I help and all, and it's come, it went from just individuals together singing to a family singing. And that's been really touching and rewarding. So it was just a good experience.
Lindy Wynne (35:29)
in a world that can be so self-reliant or one person reliant or ambition looks a certain way, that's not the Lord's way and you are touching so beautifully on the Lord's way and that we are a human family and we are also adoptive family in the Lord and we talked about spiritual motherhood.
Carole Frey (35:38)
Bye.
Lindy Wynne (35:51)
And so this Advent and beyond, may we do just what you're talking about, Carole, that is so beautiful. And may we continue to open our hearts, even when we've had discouraging experiences in our communities or churches or whatever, to pray for God's grace and generosity and openness, willingness of heart.
to reengage again just like you did, Carole, both in community and in our relationships with God when we're going through difficult seasons. So beautiful, Carole. Thank you so much for sharing. Before we close, is there anything else that you would like to share with everyone?
Carole Frey (36:26)
No, I think that's good. I shared everything that at this point, just ⁓ finding hope in Advent. Advent is one of my favorite seasons. It always baffles me. It's supposed to be we're in the dark and we're trying to find the way in the light and in the birth of Jesus. But I just love Advent. I love the music of Advent, the hope of Christ's coming. just.
Lindy Wynne (36:28)
You
Carole Frey (36:50)
Only advice is to enjoy this moment, this reflection of this time and to look to seek the joy that's about to come.
Lindy Wynne (36:57)
To seek the joy that is about to come. Amen. I love that so much. And I have a candle lit in front of us. And I shared this in another podcast. My girlfriend kept asking me, are you doing for Advent? And I didn't really know how to answer that. And then finally I was like, I'm lighting candles.
Carole Frey (37:17)
It's the light.
Lindy Wynne (37:18)
Really like I am
lighting candles and I am pondering the light of Christ and doing other things to it like I'm lighting candles It's like that holy presence and today my husband was so sweet and he started a fire when I wasn't expecting it we do a lot of fires in the fireplace and like that to me is like This is so inappropriate way to put it, but it's like a candle on crack Maybe I need to find a better way to explain
Carole Frey (37:41)
Let's.
Lindy Wynne (37:42)
It's
like a candle enlarged. I don't know.
Carole Frey (37:46)
Hey!
Lindy Wynne (37:46)
Anyways, you're getting to know me so well. Yes, pray for you. I'll pray for you. Pray for me. ⁓ I love you so much.
Carole Frey (37:50)
Yes. No, you're a beautiful soul. really are. And I'm blessed that
you are part of my life now. Thank you.
Lindy Wynne (38:00)
Thank you Carole. Thank you. Thank you and so as we close today I Want us to just take a moment don't close your eyes if you're driving but if you're somewhere that you can take a moment and Close your eyes or maybe you even have a candle lit near you, but either just imagine the light of a candle the light of Christ We drove by a home last night in the dark where the candles
They weren't real candles, but they were in each of the windows, which I know has spiritual and religious significance. That waiting. Imagine that candle and focus on that candle, that light, that light of Christ.
And dearest Lord, I just pray as we close this mini retreat today and this time together that our hearts are nothing but opened.
that our hearts are opened to your light. It's so simple. It's so simple, Lord. Help us to simply fix the gaze of our hearts, the gaze of our souls on your holy light so that our souls can proclaim the greatness of you. In your name we pray, amen. Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, amen.
Carole, thank you so much. Thank you everyone for being here. You bless my heart. Next week is the final full length podcast of the Advent season and season seven, year seven of Mamas in Spirit. I have already recorded it so I know that I'm utterly vulnerable in it, which all the guests feel that way coming on. So I want you to know I do the same.
and hopefully abandoned my heart to the Lord, even when we're here recording, even when we're here together gathered for the many retreats, because I believe that that is what God wants. That is what conversion is. It is a return.
to God with all of our hearts. And I am praying for that for all of us. Can't wait to be together again next time. This is Lindy Wynne with Mamas in Spirit. May God bless you and yours. Always.