You are Beloved with Melissa Vincent of Behold Catholic Ministries, Inc.
“I felt like one of those pieces.”
When Mellissa Vincent’s Pietá statue fell off her bed and shattered, Melissa felt shattered, too.
After the unexpected loss of her father the day after Christmas and taking on the primary care of her mother, Melissa was mentally exhausted.
Until she had a vision from God.
Melissa saw herself at the bottom of a swimming pool. Christ’s arm reached in and lifted her out. Christ told her he would save her, but he needed two things from her: a relationship with Him and one with Our Blessed Mother.
Melissa was obedient.
In this “mini retreat in a podcast,” learn how God transformed Melissa’s heart and life.
Listen as Melissa shares wisdom, including how to run to God instead of others for validation. Discover how you are beloved—not from others—but through a deep, abiding, and personal relationship with God.
Learn more about Melissa and her husband, Deacon Bill’s nonprofit ministry at www.beholdcatholicministries.org.
Transcript:
Lindy Wynne (00:00)
Welcome to Mamas in Spirit, a podcast pointing you towards God in everything you are and everything you do. I'm Lindy Wynne and it's a blessing to be with you. Hello everyone and welcome to this mini retreat in a podcast. And my heart is just like doing like somersaults or flip-flops, something of joy. It makes me think of my 10 year old because it is such a delight to be here with my sister in Christ, Melissa Vincent.
Melissa Vincent (00:29)
Close, you were very close. So it's Vincent. Vincent.
Lindy Wynne (00:32)
Come on Melissa, say it for me.
their song. ⁓
Melissa, you are such a joy. so Melissa is truly Southern. You are truly in the South and from the South.
Melissa Vincent (00:39)
Good luck.
I am
way for South, like the Southern part, very much so. So when people say, how do you spell that? I'm like, V-I-N-C-E-N-T, ⁓ Vincent. Yeah, so it's just a habit to say Vincent, not Vansong, but I like Vansong. Yeah, me too.
Lindy Wynne (01:03)
I like it too. not only
that, but well, at first, it's so funny, I had a French guest on recently. And so first, when you said I'm like, is that French? But no, it's Southern, it's going down to your roots. And for those of you who don't know, I live in Tennessee and you're in Louisiana, right?
Melissa Vincent (01:14)
It's very sudden.
I
am, I am. I'm about probably maybe two hours from New Orleans area, give or take, if you're looking at landmarks.
Lindy Wynne (01:30)
Okay, well, I've been there once and speaking of being on God's will and not our own, we drove from California through many states, including Texas to Louisiana, went to New Orleans during the pandemic. So they did not have Mardi Gras, they had Yardi Gras, which we lovingly participated in, so grateful and went around and saw these yards all decorated for Mardi Gras, which was really sweet.
Melissa Vincent (01:48)
⁓
No.
Lindy Wynne (01:58)
and then drove up to Tennessee. And then that is when I like prayed and that's how I ended up moving here to Tennessee. And so when you talk about like truly being like way down in the South, I'd never been to the South before doing that trip. And it was fascinating to me seeing how different, it's not even just like all the states are that are very closely placed together compared to like, if you're a girl like me from California, it's a very long, large state
Melissa Vincent (02:04)
wow.
You
Lindy Wynne (02:25)
So it's always fascinating to be able to get state to state very quickly. love that. But also just like every little area and pocket is so different.
Melissa Vincent (02:28)
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and we are genuinely ⁓ just a friendly state. We love our culture. We love crawfish, boudin and king cake, which is why people just don't move out of Louisiana. That's expensive to ship, just saying, very expensive. So we like to stay put, but it's home. So very Catholic down here in the South, which is good.
Lindy Wynne (02:50)
Yeah.
And aren't they
divided into parishes? Is that there or is that a different state that I'm thinking of?
Melissa Vincent (03:04)
⁓ no, I don't know. ⁓
Lindy Wynne (03:06)
Yeah, there's some one of the states down
there because we drove through it I don't know if it means Catholic parishes, but the states divided into parishes. I'm like, well, this is as Catholic as it gets.
Melissa Vincent (03:11)
Yeah, yeah, we do
have different parishes I'm in Vermilion Parish. That's how we're we're not a county. We're a parish. That's what we're talking about. Yes, yes, yes, we're divided by parishes. Yes, yes. I try to be I try to be.
Lindy Wynne (03:18)
Okay, okay.
Yes, that's what I mean. Yes, you're Catholic. You are so Catholic. And
you are, I have had the blessing of chatting with you and connecting with you and you are just a joy and a delight and I know that comes from the Lord. So in that spirit, could you please open us in prayer?
Melissa Vincent (03:37)
Aw, thank you. Thank you.
I will, I will. Name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Come Holy Spirit.
Or we thank you for gathering us today. Please guide our conversation so it can be only used to glorify your holy name and honor your blessed mother Mary. Thank you for the gifts that you have blessed us with and help us to use that every day so that we can do your holy will. We ask all of this in your name as we pray. Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for our sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Lindy Wynne (04:17)
Amen. Thank you so much, Melissa, for that beautiful prayer. And I love how you talked about us sharing our gifts every day, because that's exactly why we're here today, is to share the gift of God, hopefully the gift of ourselves as God has created us, because every single one of us here gathered is a gift molded and shaped and created by God. And what I prayed for before we started from Melissa and me is to pour out all of God's goodness.
Melissa Vincent (04:19)
You're welcome. You're welcome.
Yes.
Yes, ma'am.
Lindy Wynne (04:43)
God has poured into us. in that spirit, Melissa, can you please start at the beginning of your story?
Melissa Vincent (04:49)
Sure, sure. Do you want me to introduce myself or kind of let you know what a little bit of background? Okay. Well, so again, I'm from Louisiana. You can hear the accent, shabu, you know, all that, all get down. ⁓ So I've been married 29 years to my St. Joseph. I have a deacon in my house, which I'm very privileged. Two grown children, a grandbaby.
Lindy Wynne (04:52)
You, this is free. I believe in freedom, free will. You can share whatever you want. ⁓
Melissa Vincent (05:15)
And in 23, we started a ministry together, Behold Catholic Ministries. It started really at a place of, really just a bad place in my life. I had my father passed away unexpectedly the day after Christmas in 2020. And so the role, and I'm gonna talk with my hands, I'm sorry. The role from daughter changed to a caregiver.
And it was very difficult along with everything else that kind of manifested and came to light. Something that I was kind of keeping in the dark, feeling of unloved and just unwanted and just a lot of things going on. ⁓ And it all kind of came to the surface of that, taking care of my mom, going to her house every day. And now that I didn't want to do it, it was just a lot to maintain two homes.
and keep all of that in your head together. ⁓ And on the, I think about a year later, we made the decision to move her into my home, which was very difficult for her and, you know, us. Because I had to uproot everything here. So we had a prayer room, which it's behind me now, it's back. And I was moving things.
and I was on the last foot of moving things and I had a huge piada statue, something that I had for a long, long time. And I put it on the edge of the bed and I just happened to put my arm down and the statue fell. And so for me, I fell, like I broke. And that's kind of where it started.
⁓ I was alone in my house and my husband was on retreat so I don't do well by myself. ⁓ I can't work the TV when he's gone so I kind of just flounder around my house. So for me keeping all that bottled in was very hard for the next two days because it was on a Saturday and ⁓ when he came home he knew about the statue breaking but he didn't really know.
everything that I was feeling. that night when he got, the next night when he got back, I kinda told myself, I hope I don't wake up. Like, I'm so done. I was very tired. I was just like, I was so, I think just mentally exhausted. And ⁓ the next day I had a vision from God.
And ⁓ I have a pool. So I envisioned myself at the bottom of the pool and I'm looking up and I'm saying to myself, you know, where is everybody? Like they don't see me. Like, you know, and I'm just kind of looking up and I saw the arm of Jesus pulling me out of the pool. And he said, I want you to do two things for me. I will save you, but I want you to do two things for me.
I want you to have a relationship with me and I want you to have a relationship with my mother. And that's all I can remember on that. And the next day I went to confession and cried like a baby. and I didn't see, which it, didn't hit me until a couple months later, but like, I didn't see that priest. I probably wouldn't have gone with that priest just because he was in our parish. My husband works there. ⁓ and, and I didn't see.
him. I actually saw Jesus and he was just so merciful and just loving and patient. He gave me a litany of trust for my confed- my absolution. It took me like three days to find it on the internet and it was a great prayer. It was a great litany, just something that always stuck with me. So and that's kind of where I began, you know. So it's been a long
journey. It's been a long journey of healing and a lot of things that came into play of that healing. A lot of things done.
Lindy Wynne (09:23)
Yes, thank you so much, Melissa. And I do want to dive more into that. What I first want to just say is that it's so beautiful to first hear all your joy and like the freedom and the goodness of your heart, and then hear how you've also grappled because we all have. And it reminds me this is going to sound ridiculous, but bear with me for second. So last week I had to put down my first chicken and any of you who follow me on social media.
Melissa Vincent (09:40)
Yeah.
Ha!
Lindy Wynne (09:52)
This is the ridiculous part. Anybody, any of you who follow me on social media know that I put my little chickadees on social media. This is something that I do did for my eight year old, now 10 year old. And clearly somebody sent me some funny reel about henna paws. I don't know if I should say that we have male listeners, but anyways, I enjoyed my little chickadees and I'm just a sensitive soul and I love life and I love the Lord and I love all of creation. And I was super sad about this.
Melissa Vincent (09:54)
Three, four, five, six, seven.
Yeah. ⁓
Yeah.
Lindy Wynne (10:21)
And I had to, sorry, this is a little whatever, but I had to take her body to be tested for a chicken disease. And I was in there and another man was there older than me and he was so precious. And he, I think had brought like a dog or a cat that needed to be tested sadly, his beloved pet. And I bring all this up because as we're in there, he like ministered to my heart and he shared with me this quote.
Melissa Vincent (10:27)
wow.
Lindy Wynne (10:47)
And this quote is so beautiful and it was so unexpected from the Lord and just so touching from the Lord. And I want to read to you this quote
is by Khalil Gibran And it's, deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. And
As you've just started to share your story now, Melissa, I think of that because you are one of the most joyful souls that I've ever encountered and it just delights my heart. And to think of that, that vision that you had of you at the bottom of the pool looking up and then Jesus reaching Jesus's hand in and pulling you out. It reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures, Talitha Kuhn, little girl arise or girl arise or woman arise.
Jesus is our strength. Jesus is our perseverance. Jesus is our survival. Jesus is our everything. And so to think about Jesus's hand reaching in and pulling you out and then also how you talked about your sorrow, you talked about your tears when that statue dropping symbolized a lot for you. And I've had things like that before. And actually when I was young and my grandfather died, I'm mortified to tell you that
Melissa Vincent (11:58)
I'm not.
Lindy Wynne (12:05)
soon after he died, I accidentally broke, I threw a football at my brother and broke a vase that my grandfather had given my mom and she just emotionally kind of shattered with the vase. And that's what's reminding me of when that statue fell off of the bed.
Melissa Vincent (12:16)
Yeah.
Yeah.
And as a Deacon's wife, you know, we're servants. I'm a yes girl. So I would say, yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah, I'll join. Yeah, I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Sure. You know, and I didn't realize a lot of it was, well, look at me. Look at me. You know, and a lot of that was happening. And I didn't realize that until, you know, much later until all of this happened that, you know, and I've
went to Inner Healing and done some counseling and, you know, don't be afraid to go to counseling. That's for sure. I love that couch. I'm just saying. Yeah, it's great. And it was a wonderful Catholic counselor. And I'm like, my gosh, your sofa's like really comfortable, you know? So it was good. So, and I just felt like, am I doing this for the right reasons? And it wasn't until years later that I was like, no, I'm trying to find who I am.
and whose I am. And so during the healing of it, you know, did some inner healing, which was great. It was very intimate, realized I needed a little more. So I went to counseling and did all of that. And ⁓ everything with beloved came into play. ⁓ All of a sudden I started seeing the word beloved everywhere. I have a bracelet that says beloved. I never take it off to remind me of who I am.
I got a tattoo. You know, something I would have never done, but it's to remind me that I'm his beloved. And I read a profound book by Henry Now and called The Life of the Beloved. If you haven't read it, it's, my gosh, I can read that over and over again. And ⁓ one of the quotes in one of the chapters was, is, you know, we run around and we run around, we looking for validation kind of all over, but what we need is truly God. And I just didn't realize that.
what I was searching for until all of this came up and the ministry started. Right after everything that happened, confession, you know, I'm sitting on my couch and I wrote kind of like what I thought was a retreat and I showed my husband and he was like, what is this? And I'm like, I don't know, but like it's all there. And I said, I just kind of need to fill in some stuff. And I said, it's kind of like a retreat. And he was like, well, get you a team together. And I was like, okay.
So we got a team together. I put together some great group of girls. I have a wonderful team ⁓ that, you know, does everything and loves the Lord just as much as I do. And ⁓ we planned for, I don't know, probably like six, seven months. And in May in 23, we had our first Mother's Day retreat and we have it on the Friday and Saturday. So you're able to spend time with your family on Saturday afternoon, the whole Mother's Day.
Because it is a lot for people to do a three-day retreat especially if you're a young mom and you know husbands have to watch kids and that's an ordeal, know, so we we put together a retreat and we had 50 ladies signed up in less than 10 minutes I was full I had a wait list and ⁓ The the weekend was beautiful. We had a Miracle that happened at our retreat. We had a Rosa Mystica statue
that cried their entire weekend for us. ⁓ We all saw it, we all felt the tears, we took pictures, we blessed things. And ⁓ after our retreat was finished on Saturday, probably about three, 3.30, she stopped crying. And so for me, I felt, this was good. Like I got a lot of healing. I met a lot of wonderful ladies. I'm good. Like I'm good. You know, I've accomplished, God did what he needed to do.
And when all the ladies are telling me bye, they're like, okay, we'll see you next year, see you next year. And I'm like, ⁓ okay, there's gonna maybe be a next year. And I'm happy to say that this year, this is our third year that we put on a retreat. And every year it gets better. It doesn't get bigger. We like it small. We think the intimacy of just really connecting and walking with other ladies.
which I love to do and actually knowing them and getting to know their story and journey is where God is calling us to be.
Lindy Wynne (16:39)
love how you say that and getting to know their story and their journey. And that to me demonstrates this really conversion that you had, I would say a reversion. It sounds like a conversion in the sense of really understanding your belovedness by God in a way that everyone longs for. Like everyone longs for that intimacy and that closeness and the understanding of our worth or belovedness that doesn't come from exterior affirmation, but comes from that deep and intimate
Melissa Vincent (16:42)
Yes.
Yes.
Mm-hmm. Yes.
for it.
Lindy Wynne (17:08)
personal relationship with Lord and deep within ourselves. And so when you talked about how you were the yes girl, which I really actually love that saying, like to be a yes girl, but to be a yes girl for the right reasons and the right reason, which is the Lord. And so what I'm hearing from you, which is so understandable and I imagine we can all identify with is like doing things for external affirmation.
Melissa Vincent (17:11)
Correct.
Right. Right.
Lindy Wynne (17:36)
even unknowingly, even unknowingly, and then that conversion and transformation to doing it for the Lord. And I think that is really demonstrated in your retreat and what you just said where you want it to be intimate and you want to get to know the stories of all the other ladies gathered. It's not about you sharing yours, even though you may share yours to show the goodness and the glory of the Lord and what God has done for you.
Melissa Vincent (17:57)
No. Right. Right.
Right.
Lindy Wynne (18:02)
That's
critical. That's why we're here at Momma's in Spirit is to hear witness and testimony to the transformative love of God. It's just what I'm hearing from you is that you then, you go and listen and are present to and love into like God has loved you and hear their stories. Because everybody wants to be seen and heard and loved. Like Hagar calls God, the God who sees. Elroy, or Elroy, however you pronounce it. I'm not an expert. We have to know our poverty.
Melissa Vincent (18:15)
Right.
heard and seen. Yes.
Lindy Wynne (18:29)
I don't know all mine, but that's one of them. But anyways, the God who sees, just love that so much.
Melissa Vincent (18:31)
Yeah.
Yeah,
yeah. And I love, like this year, the retreat, I felt like I didn't want to be center, like the one, you know, kind of guiding the retreat. So I stepped out in faith and I asked somebody to kind of be or kind of MC, you know, so that I can walk around and I can meet people and I can visit with people and hug on people and get to know their story and a little better. Because, you know, two days is it's not really a lot to learn.
50 ladies stories. You might, you know, catch a handful, but I really kind of wanted to be in there. And ⁓ the MC was great this year and it worked out so well. And I was able to visit and actually speak to people and just, you know, kind of walk with them. And some of these people in the last three years have become really good friends with me. We talk sometimes on a daily basis. ⁓ They share the same story. After I gave my testimony, the first retreat.
⁓ I had like probably three or four people that came up to me and said, thank you. I feel the same way. And I was like, wow, I thought I was the only one that felt like that. And I was just taken back that people just don't say it or feel it. And now if I'm not invited anywhere or to ask to be, to do something, I'm like, good, find me. You know, I can find something else to do. Like that probably would have really, really tore at me, you know.
that long ago when it first started, probably would have just went into this deep hole of why they didn't ask me or why wasn't I invited. Now I'm like, yeah, good. They found their tribe. They got their community. I'm good for you. You do your thing. You do you. And so it's really changed how I look at things.
Lindy Wynne (20:22)
Can you delve more into that? I love what you're saying. It so speaks to my soul and I wanna understand that even more.
Melissa Vincent (20:24)
Yeah.
Yeah, for me, ⁓ I was always looking at kind of what people were doing and involved in. And I was like, well, I want to be a part of that. Well, I want to be part of that group. And I want to go there. And I want to go to the restaurant. And things just things like that. I wanted to kind of really feel like I belonged, ⁓ that I was liked, that I just wasn't liked because I was a Deacon's wife. ⁓
Not that they have to, but you know, when you're in the church and you had the same parish for that long, you know? And so for me, it was a wake up call. Like, God's not asking me to be this person or that person. ⁓ For me, it was, you're beloved no matter what you do, who you are, where you're at, what status you're at. So that changed for me a lot. ⁓
he let me know that it didn't matter what job I did or if I wasn't in this club or if I wasn't in this group that it was okay. I was still loved. And I think for me throughout the whole journey, now that I can look back, I felt unseen and really unloved and not really by my husband, just, you know, the whole, just the whole. And for me that changed, you know, I'm okay. I know who I'm.
who I am, I know that I'm seen, I'm loved, and by the right person, God.
Lindy Wynne (21:57)
Yeah, and you said before that you needed to know who and whose you were. that sounds like that was what your deepest healing was, is who I am and whose I am, your beloved daughter of God. You are beloved, that's who you are, and you're God's, that's whose.
Melissa Vincent (22:01)
Who's your aunt? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yeah, and God loves me no matter what I do. If I don't do
anything but a housewife, He still loves me, you know?
Lindy Wynne (22:21)
Yeah, I love what you're saying because this healing that you're talking about, I'm imagining we can all identify with either having by the grace of God experience this healing, either be on the journey or the pilgrimage of this healing or need this healing. I really think that for every single one of us. And I would say in all humility, I'm on the journey. You're beyond me, Melissa, because you are because I and this is something I've still been kind of like sorting out with the Lord.
Melissa Vincent (22:35)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Lindy Wynne (22:49)
is I come from a family where I feel, I guess I'm gonna be 49 years old. So hopefully I have clarity at this point. Like there's a lot of insecurity and like unrest in the family, the older generation, like the generation above and two above me, like, and with the woman, like even with sisters and things of the sort. And so that was like my, that's where I simmered as a child.
Melissa Vincent (23:02)
Thank you.
Right. Right.
Right,
right.
Lindy Wynne (23:14)
And
then that was also my experience at school. was like all I knew in a sense. And ⁓ the healing work that God has really been doing in me, which is so glorious. I think he's also been doing this work just because he loves me, just like he loves all of us. And then also I'm being blessed with a freedom with everything, in my everything. Whether it's my personal life, this is my personal life too, but like Mamas in Spirit whatnot.
Melissa Vincent (23:19)
Right.
Right.
Lindy Wynne (23:43)
this freedom to be totally and authentically myself and to look for nothing on the other side because it's from the Lord. It's not that I won't look for wise counsel or look for like if Father John our chaplain came to me and said, Lindy, I feel concerned about X, Z, I'd be listening. ⁓ So that's different. But yeah, but for that deep affirmation.
Melissa Vincent (23:51)
Right. Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, and actually, you know, all of that, it's exhausting. It's really exhausting. At the end of the day, you know, you're tired of the competing and you're tired of the this and you're tired of that. It's exhausting, you know? ⁓ So for me, you know, the retreat, ⁓ the encounters, ⁓ me being broken ⁓ and him taking that brokenness and all that, everything that I felt inside.
and ⁓ manifesting that through his glory. Like it's just, it's amazing what he's done. And I'll always tell my husband, you know, I know myself now. I know what I think he wants from the ministry. I know how to discern well. We've done it all our lives in the diaconate, you know, and we still do everything that we do. If it's not of God, there's an unrest. And so for me, I had to learn how to let go and let God lead.
Because in the very beginning it was, okay, well need to do this and we need to do that. And it never came to frutation. It never came how I wanted it. And one time, who I have a wise husband, and he said, well, maybe it's not what Mary and Jesus want. Did you ever think about that? All I hear is the I, the I. And he says, what does Jesus want? Are you discerning that? Is this what God wants at this time? And so,
Now I can see how that all is unfolding on why it didn't work two, three years ago. Now it's working. It needed all those kinks. It needed to grow and grow well and grow the right reasons. And if it is from the Lord, it's gonna grow. It's gonna explode. And it's good.
Lindy Wynne (25:48)
Yes.
Yes. Yeah. It's the, the, the proof is in the pudding or you'll, shall know them by their fruits. You shall know it by its fruit. And I love how your husband, a deacon, so beautiful, cause you're a deaconess, how he encouraged you, how he encouraged you to that discernment. And when you said it needed to grow, what I'm hearing is you needed to grow. I need to grow. We all need to grow.
Melissa Vincent (25:52)
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. ⁓
Yeah. ⁓
Lindy Wynne (26:16)
Like we all need to grow and you talked about letting go and that makes me think of and for everyone listening, we all need to let go in probably similar ways but different ways because what I really needed to let go of was relationships that if I discerned like, Lord, is this what you're calling me into right now? It was no longer and that's really hard for me. That's grief for me. And I also want to make a
transition, not a transition, but go deeper here with the grief piece and the tears piece, because you talked about your tears and then you talked about the tears of the Rosa Mystica. And I think that there's so much in that. I mean, that is just so beautiful. Because I think too, I think it's from MagiGoria, that this is actually really precious. My son, who is 26 with intellectual disability, who we adopted when he was six, he does not like take...
Like, okay, he has an intellectual disability. I think that kind of encompasses my point here is that he made me this list once of all of these sayings of our blessed mother. And one of them is, and it's in his handwriting that still looks like a kindergartner's handwriting. It's so precious. And one of them says, if you knew how much I loved you, or I love you, you'd cry. And I think about your tears when her statue, when the statue of her in Christ,
Melissa Vincent (27:15)
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mmm, that's beautiful.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lindy Wynne (27:35)
fell off the bed, those
were tears of grief. Those were tears of mourning. Those were tears of desperation, of desolate, of all, you know, all those kinds of tears. I think of Jesus in the garden. Those are those kinds of tears. But then through this conversion, through this transformation, your tears have been transformed because you have come to understand more fully, even though we cannot completely understand as humans.
Melissa Vincent (27:42)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lindy Wynne (28:02)
how loved you are by our blessed mother and Jesus. And Jesus told you, grow a relationship with me and with our blessed mother and you were obedient. You were faithful as God is always faithful, that's in scripture. You were obedient and you grew those relationships. And then you say yes to this woman's retreat that is so fruitful because it's truly in the Lord. And then the Rosa Mystica cries. The transformation of the tears.
Melissa Vincent (28:04)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
When that happened, when I did inner healing, one of the questions she says is, how did you feel when you saw your statue? Were you big? Were you small? Were you tiny? Were you invisible? And I said, I was T-tiny. I said, that's kinda how I felt.
I felt like kind of one of those broken pieces there. And it was a lot. And when you're the first born, not only have one sister, but still, ⁓ when your dad dies or your parent dies or whatever, you kind of just take that role of, I've got to do this. checking it off the mark and checking it off and, okay, I got to do that. Calling people and doing this and then taking over as a caregiver. ⁓ I really didn't realize that, I probably didn't grieve.
like I should have. ⁓ You know, I'm pretty tough. I have a hard time crying. If I cry, then it's a form of weakness to me, kinda sorta, and it's not, but to me, it was back then. You know, so I kinda held everything in. And ⁓ again, like I said, I was a yes girl, and I thought I had a relationship with God. You know, I had everything checked off the box. And...
looking back, I'm like, man, I didn't know him at all. You know, and I'm still learning. have a great spiritual director. We Zoom monthly and she makes me dive deep. Right now I have a big yearning and desire for the scriptures. So, you know, I'm learning. My husband is an Old Testament buff. He loves history. He can sit there and learn and not take notes. And here I am highlighting and underlining and index chords. And I just don't learn like...
You know, I'm a visual person, which is why I visualize things. And so for me, it was, I needed to know him. And I definitely did not have a relationship with Mary like I thought. I thought I did. Now I do, you know, and it's still growing. I mean, every day it's, you know, you're learning. ⁓ So it's been good. It's been great. It's been fulfilling. ⁓ It's been a lot of healing. It's still healing.
You know, there are some areas where God pinches you and says, no, not yet, not done, you know, but we all have that. And so I have a great support system. I have a great team behind me that's in it 100%. So we'll see where it goes. And I do pray every day that if it does end or if God says, okay, we're done, then I'm gonna be obedient and lay it down and be okay with it. And I'm fine.
Lindy Wynne (30:59)
I love that so much the freedom in that. And that's probably why you have such joy and such a freedom to love and to be present and all the things because you're not gripping on to things that yeah, yeah, that's probably the hard thing. That's a hard thing. Yeah, that's what I was getting at before too. Like I will grip on I don't know if people listening can identify this. I will grip on to relationships to people I love too.
Melissa Vincent (30:59)
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm trying not to. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Lindy Wynne (31:27)
Like I think if I had it my way, everybody in my kindergarten class, I'd still be hanging out with.
Melissa Vincent (31:31)
⁓ Right? That's funny. I don't remember that. I don't remember that. ⁓ But you need to be able to lay it down and not have that hold. Because then it just, I need to be able to lay it down and know that I'm not just doing this for me. And every day, I'll remind myself.
Lindy Wynne (31:33)
And I'm not even kidding. And I loved my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Tinsley. She was the best. I was five. Now I'm almost five-o.
She was so cool. Mrs. Dinsley.
Melissa Vincent (32:00)
You know, if this is God's and he's asking me to lay it down or I'm done or we're, we're, we're, we've done what we accomplished or, you know, I need to be able to say, yes, Lord, I'm good. I'm shutting it down. You know, I can't hold on to it. And so I need to do it for the right reasons. And so every day it's a discernment every day.
Lindy Wynne (32:21)
I love how you said I can't hold on to it because we're only called to hold on to the Lord. This is helpful for me. It's always helpful.
Melissa Vincent (32:23)
No.
That's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's a struggle. Yeah.
And it's a struggle. I mean, we want to do these things and we want to do them for these reasons sometimes. And, you know, that's not what God wants. If God wants me to pull me into scripture and learn and do things for me to get closer to Him. And this might be a distraction or whatever it is, which I don't think it is. Then I need to be able to say.
It's been a good ride, Lord. I'm good, you know? Yeah. ⁓
Lindy Wynne (32:58)
yes, and I think we do know, we do know deep down. Cause there's even
been times with Mamas in spirit, I'm like, okay, like Lord, is this it? Or just like, it's not, it's never this part. It's never the recording, but just like the editing and the prepping and all the things in between. I'm like, maybe this, you know, like maybe, but then it's like, I just know, I just know, like the, I just know. It's like.
Melissa Vincent (33:08)
Yeah.
Yeah. yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lindy Wynne (33:22)
outside of ministry, like even when I got married, I just knew, like deep down in the soul level knew. And that's where we need to know our value too as human beings, deep down in the soul level, like that untouchable because like when I got married or we adopted our first kids, I got kickback and that's like exterior kickback. But like that's interesting. I had no insecurity about any of that. Like I knew I was called and it wasn't in a stubborn way.
Melissa Vincent (33:41)
I'm here.
Lindy Wynne (33:50)
It was in a way, just, from my prayer life and from my silence,
Melissa Vincent (33:50)
Right, Yeah.
Lindy Wynne (33:54)
from how Jesus, how God had revealed themselves, the Trinity to me, like all my experience, it was like the culmination of these experiences, like there was no mistaking it. So like even when there was like aversion or denial or rejection from an exterior perspective, from other humans, it just like, it couldn't touch that sacred place within me.
Melissa Vincent (34:02)
Mm. Yeah.
Right. Right.
Lindy Wynne (34:17)
of that knowing and that's what I'm hearing for you in regards to your
Melissa Vincent (34:18)
Yeah. Yeah.
Lindy Wynne (34:20)
worth and that confidence that that being fortified that comes from the Lord.
Melissa Vincent (34:25)
Yeah, yeah. And it's a great thing once you realize it. know, once when you go to counseling and they ask you these simple questions and you're like, oh, that stopped me. You know, the first question she asked too was, you know, do you feel loved by the father? And I'm like, well, I'm thinking she means my father. You know, and I'm like, well, of course. And she's like, no, the father. And I'm like, oh. And I really didn't.
You know, and I mean, I was bawling in 10 minutes while I was sitting on the couch. And I'm like, where did this come from? And it was just a da da da da da da, you know, and I didn't realize that I just kept all of that in that I really didn't feel loved.
Lindy Wynne (35:06)
Yeah, let's go back to that. I really want to dig into that because the whole idea of tears. When you said like, I'm not a person who cried or whatnot. I think I've said this in another podcast, but I'm really growing by the grace of God. And hopefully we're always growing and learning and hopefully God is always transforming our hearts and our minds more. And hopefully we're going closer to him, but we will never know the Lord fully until hopefully at our death from this earth. Hopefully we're always learning.
Melissa Vincent (35:15)
Right.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Lindy Wynne (35:35)
And so I bring that up because right now in my life, I feel like a big kind of epiphany is that most of us either stuff our feelings or we're super dramatic about them. And when I was a teen, I was super dramatic about them. And then in my young adulthood, I learned to stuff more. It's not that I didn't let them trickle out in ways or it's not like I was always dramatic, but it was like not that healthy.
Melissa Vincent (35:48)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Lindy Wynne (36:03)
spiritual,
Melissa Vincent (36:03)
Mm-hmm.
Lindy Wynne (36:04)
God-given centeredness of like emotion and feelings. And by the grace of God, I feel like God is really, really blessing ⁓ me. I see this, I see this, I'm hearing this in you, Melissa, and seeing this ⁓ in you. I remember speaking of tears, because we can have grief about a lot of things. Death being the obvious one, but there's loss of friendship, loss of, people have loss of marriage. I can't even imagine loss.
Melissa Vincent (36:06)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes.
you
Mm-hmm.
Lindy Wynne (36:31)
there's losses in so many ways. There's just loss like we moved across the country. There's loss. I still grieve my neighbors that I love and whatever like don't get me wrong. Like I'm so grateful to be where I'm at. But this is part of life, right? I remember this summer we lost our beloved Uncle Don and I remember I was doing a lot of caretaking like helping my 10 year old navigate grief for the first time. And also we have children with who are living with developmental disabilities and helping them navigate grief in this first like
Melissa Vincent (36:39)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Lindy Wynne (36:59)
beloved family member in their lifetime who's died. had other death, not like this, someone who's this close. And so helping them in each of the ways that's appropriate for each of them, et cetera, et Well, one day I was at the neighborhood pool and my husband had gone across the country because Uncle Don, I can't remember if he was dying or had just died. I think he died at that point and Ryan was still across the country. And I'm at the neighborhood pool and one of my precious friends, it was either
Megan or Mary Ellen were there and that friend was like, I'll keep your youngest while you go run home and go get something. Well, I came home and Melissa, I sat on this little stool in my kitchen and I just cried. It was like my moment to cry, you know? And I let out a good cry. all that I'd been holding in, like caring for everybody else and loving everybody else and like...
Melissa Vincent (37:49)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lindy Wynne (37:51)
You know, it's
Melissa Vincent (37:51)
Yep.
Lindy Wynne (37:52)
my husband's uncle. It's my uncle-in-law. And this was a man who he was never married and he just poured into all of us, including me. And I used to live by him. So I spent a lot of time with him and with our youngest child. Like we would do lunches together with my husband and like just, and everybody loved him so much. Like that's the saying about him. Everybody loves Uncle Don. So it's like, I miss him too. I have feels about this too. Like he's one of my favorite people and he's been such a living witness and such a reflection of God's love.
Melissa Vincent (38:13)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right.
Lindy Wynne (38:20)
he is going to be sorely missed and missed by my heart. And so I had a really good cry about it. And I'm sharing that because Melissa, I think that's what you're getting at is like, it's important to have a really good cry with the Lord about what's real, about what's true. And if we are...
Melissa Vincent (38:33)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you can't hold all
of it in. You know? Yeah, I'm sorry. ⁓ You can't hold that in. And that was the thing, you know, when you're taking care of the house and the family and, you know, your kids and work and stuff like that. It's like, who's taking care of me? You know? I would eat my feelings. I would drink my feelings. And, you know, and sometimes I still do, you know?
But I have to remember that's not where I need to do. I need to be in scripture. I need to go to Adoration. I did not have an Adoration time. ⁓ And that was one of the things that my spiritual director said, are you spending time in silence with the Lord? And I'm like, well, unless you want to call my room. And she was like, no, no, really spending time in the Lord and getting to know him. And I was one of those that rearranged the books in Adoration. was like, looking at the time, let me.
do this shelf and I had a hard time turning this off. And so for me, Adoration was just not a great thing. And now I'm faithful. go at five o'clock in the morning and when my partner says, are you going? I can't go and I'm like, okay, great. I'm gonna be by myself. No offense. But I like that now and I take care of those things that I need to take care of mentally. I ⁓ was not graceful.
Lindy Wynne (39:32)
Mm-hmm.
Melissa Vincent (39:57)
When my statue broke, I cried and cried and cried and I called a guy friend because my husband wasn't there and he went through something very traumatic as well. And I called and you know, I was like, I don't need you to say anything. I just need to vent. And I just vented about all kinds of stuff. And I was like, okay, I'm done. You know, and we hung up and it was just, they, our diocese has a Catholic magazine and they featured our story.
And ⁓ it was a great story and it was one, it was vulnerable. Like when my husband showed me the picture and I was like, ⁓ well how many copies you got of that? And he's like, well there's boxes in the office. I'm like, why? And he's like, why? And I'm like, well take them all home. You know, like, no, I don't want anybody to read that. I really didn't think they were gonna, I guess, tell my story, you know? And then he was like, well, this is who Behold is. How do they?
tell behold if they're not telling your story. And so I emailed my counselor and she was like, why does that make you feel like you're doing? I said, it's vulnerable. You know, it's putting all the darkness out into the light. And she sent me a TED talk from Brene Brown on vulnerability and it was great. And it was like, okay, all of that needs to come to the light. You know, I can't keep it hidden how I feel.
And my husband, when he read the story, he knew everything. And he was just weeping and I'm like, I'm sitting here like, why are you crying? And he's like, I didn't even know this. And I'm like, you know, I'm sorry. There are certain things that I just maybe embarrassed or just didn't want to tell him, you know.
Lindy Wynne (41:38)
Yes, yes, I love what you're saying. know, Melissa, I don't think I've ever shared this in Mamas in Spirit, but I've sure talked to our chap and father, John Meyer, about this before. But sometimes when I finish a talk or something of the sort, I feel emptied. And I have to be honest with everybody. Like, it's not always the best feeling, but it's like, there's nothing else to give. It's like, I have literally been so transparent.
Melissa Vincent (41:44)
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm. ⁓
Lindy Wynne (42:05)
and shared all the things.
And I have to say, Melissa, the joy, the freedom, the genuine connection and the love, because it's the vulnerability. And I've said this many times in podcasts, because I have been blessed to interview a number of people who have been in Alcoholics Anonymous. And one of their sayings is, we're only as sick as our secrets. And it's true. It's those things, all those things we hold inside, or all the ways we try to cope that you started to point to.
Melissa Vincent (42:09)
Hmm. Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lindy Wynne (42:32)
that don't really help us to cope and make the situation worse. Like I remember the first time that Brian was really sick, no, the second time when we were married in my 20s. I think I gained 20 to 25 pounds eating Costco ice cream. Like he would be sleeping at night and I would be up, I'd be lonely, I'd be afraid if he was gonna live or die. Also the medicine changed his personality. It was like so difficult. We lived in a new area, I didn't have friends. Like it was a hot mess, right? So how did I cope?
Melissa Vincent (42:34)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Mmm. Mmm.
Hmm. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Lindy Wynne (42:59)
That time, sadly, I turned away from God and I ate a lot of ice cream. Like that's genuinely and it got me nowhere. Yeah, until God reverted my heart because that's what God does. is constantly, Christ is constantly pursuing us. And so that is just the beauty of it all. Melissa, you are such a treasure and all your goodness is pouring out. And I know it's because you have gone to the well of Living Water time and time again and Adoration and all the things so that
Melissa Vincent (43:05)
Nowhere. Yeah. Yeah.
keep going.
Thank you.
Lindy Wynne (43:28)
I love how you talk about how you're like rearranging the shelves. You're like bringing an end desk to Adoration and. ⁓
Melissa Vincent (43:32)
yeah, yeah. I probably would have bought
a rag and maybe some dust things, you know, if I went and the next week.
Lindy Wynne (43:38)
You're
like, here's my rosary. You bring it back. Here's my rosary. Here's my prayer book. Here's my endos. Here's my book. Yeah. You're like, maybe one day my heart will be clean.
Melissa Vincent (43:41)
But your shells are clean.
Maybe one day I'll actually pay attention, you know?
Lindy Wynne (43:54)
I love that so much. makes me so happy.
Melissa Vincent (43:56)
But God is so patient.
God is so patient. He waits for us. You know, He's not a demanding Lord. He's gonna wait for us. know, yeah. Yes, thank God. Thank God. Thank God. So we have a lot of stuff coming up with behold, some good stuff. We just recently held a widow's breakfast last Saturday and it was beautiful. 50 women.
Lindy Wynne (44:03)
Yeah, he's the fullness of all these things. He is patience itself. He is generosity itself. God is everything good. Yes.
Melissa Vincent (44:21)
just in a different state of life than a lot of us. And so to minister to them, and like my husband said to them when he gave his talk, ⁓ Mary was a widow, she was married. So your ministry and Mary, it's all connected. So we have a lot of things coming up. We recently got a website so you can find us there, ⁓ www.beholdcatholicministries.org. We're very excited about it. I don't do any of that tech stuff.
Lindy Wynne (44:38)
Mmm.
Melissa Vincent (44:50)
I don't want to do any of the tech stuff. And if I had to, then I'd probably lay this ministry down. Very difficult. ⁓ yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. You're right. But some good stuff. But thank you. ⁓
Lindy Wynne (44:55)
As long as you laying your life down with it, girl.
That is so good. Melissa, thank you so much. I can't wait to
look at that website and learn more myself. Is there anything else you want to share before we close in prayer?
Melissa Vincent (45:10)
Thank you. Yes. ⁓
Other than ⁓ I'm going to read you a quote, which I normally say at the retreats a lot to kind of end. ⁓ It's a quote by Fulton Sheen, and it was told to me by a priest. And I love it. ⁓ It says, I hope that when we all get to heaven, we hear these words from God. I know who you are. My mother told me all about you.
And I hope that Behold Catholic Ministries has done that for women that we've touched. Amen. No, I would feed you good. I would feed you good, Lindy, I'm just saying. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Lindy Wynne (45:42)
Amen, I wish I lived near you. I'm not ready to move again, Melissa.
I can't wait. Are you kidding? I can't wait. thank you.
Thank you for just bringing the delight of who and whose you are. Let us close in prayer in the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Amen. Dearest Lord, thank you. Thank you for this time of generous outpouring of your love, your goodness and your wisdom, Lord. And Lord, we just pray to just pilgrimage deeper by your grace into your sacred heart and to know who and
Melissa Vincent (45:58)
Thank you. Thank you.
Amen.
Lindy Wynne (46:19)
we are and let us close with a Memorare ⁓ most gracious Virgin Mary never wasn't known that anyone who fled to thy protection implored thy help or sought thy intercession was left unaided Inspired by this confidence we fly into thee a virgin of virgins our mother to thee Do we come before thee we stand sinful and sorrowful mother of the word incarnate despise not our Petitions but in thy mercy here and answer us amen
Melissa Vincent (46:33)
conference.
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.
Lindy Wynne (46:45)
In name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, amen. The first time I prayed that prayer
was holding the hands of a friend in a coffee shop parking lot, and I didn't know it yet. So I held her hands and I copied every word. And doesn't that kind of like symbolize this time is like your beautiful example and your beautiful outpouring in all the ways that you have gone on this pilgrimage that is a beautiful example for us to follow. So thank you, Melissa.
Melissa Vincent (47:11)
Thank you. Thank
you. Thank you. Appreciate it.
Lindy Wynne (47:14)
And thank you
everyone for gathering for this time of sisterhood and brotherhood in Christ. And reach out anytime for prayers and please share this mini retreat and a podcast with anyone it will help. Us women and us, all our members of a human family are hungry for intimate connection with the Lord and with one another. So I pray that we foster, encourage and by the grace of God manifest that.
Can't wait to be together again next time. This is Lindy Wynne with Mamas in Spirit. May God bless you and yours always.
Melissa Vincent (47:42)
Thank you.
Bye bye.